Are Cell Phones Creating an Epidemic of Rude Behavior?
More and more I hear people talking about the appropriate places to use your cellphone with either A) distracting someone else B) distracting yourself or C) because it is viewed as being rude. When and where it is deemed acceptable to use your cell phone is a recurring issue for me it seems. It is an ongoing debate inside my mind. And to further clarify, are there situations where talking is a no-no but texting is ok?
Give a few people some scenarios and ask them their opinion and undoubtedly you would get several different answers and opinions. So here are some of the situations I commonly find myself in or am a part of where I witness the reactions of people when a cell phone is introduced.
Scenario 1 - Work Meeting: Have you ever found yourself in a presentation or a meeting for work and someone is texting away on their phone, or answering emails on their Blackberry? On some ocassions I have even witnessed people answer a ringing cell phone during a meeting.
Now for me, this is a situation where phone usage should be kept at a minimum. If you are on call or have urgent business that needs to be addressed, ok take a minute and excuse yourself, handle it and come back. I think it is incredibly rude for someone to be speaking while others are giving all of their attention to what’s going on with their phone. We used to have a policy at my old company - no cell phones in meetings, period. It was nice to go through meetings without someones ringer going off accidentally. I say, if you are in a meeting, BE THERE, pay attention and respect the person speaking.
Scenario 2 - Dining Out: Have you ever been sitting there enjoying your meal at a restaurant when all of the sudden the person at the table next to you answers their phone and speaks at such a volume the whole place can hear them? I cannot tell you the number of times this has happened to me. It is so distracting and really takes away from the dining experience.
I do struggle with this scenario because I have to admit, I have been known to text while being out to eat. If someone texts me, yes…I do generally text them back. If someone calls, I may answer, but I keep the conversation very short and let the person on the other end know I am out and will call them back. In my opinion, this seems acceptable so long as you do not let the phone usage dominate your dinner. Others may have a different opinion, but I think since it is a bit more casual, increased usage is acceptable so long as it is not disruptive.
Scenario 3 - In the car: There are actually two scenarios within this one. The first, cell phone usage while driving, is generally viewed negatively due to its proven affect of people’s ability to drive effectively. And while I agree, and often express my road rage at others I see chatting away on their cell phone while going 55 in a 60, I too have to admit that I am guilty. I agree 100% that using your cell phone while driving, whether it is calling or texting (which is what I do more frequently) is dangerous and should be avoided. And yet, I still do it, but with caution…whatever that means.
The second piece of this one is talking on the cell when someone else is driving. This one is a toss up for me. If there are only two of you in a car, it makes it a little awkward for the other person in the car who isn’t part of the conversation. If there are multiple people in the car, it is still pretty distracting and often disrupts the conversation or music volume for the rest of the passengers. I cannot make up my mind on this one. I think that you should try to keep the conversations short if possible, but I really believe that this one is varies with the passengers in the car.
Scenario 4 - Checkout and/or Drive Thru Lines: This one really irks me, mainly because I am always in a hurry, even if I am going nowhere. If people hold up the line because of their incredibly important phone conversation, it is an inconvenience to both the people in line behind you and the customer service person. I can’t tell you the number of times I have seen people take ten minutes emptying their cart with one hand because the other is holding the phone, or pressing the wrong button at the U-Scan because they were distracted. Do us all a favor, hang up the phone, complete the transaction, then call your friend back.
Scenario 5 - Movie Theater: Three words - TURN IT OFF. In general, I think most people do pretty well with this one. If you want to text, fine do it the whole movie I don’t care, just put all of your sounds on vibrate so I don’t have to hear “Pour Some Sugar on Me” every time you get a new text. Don’t under any circumstances answer your phone during a movie. A lady sitting behind me did this one time. She answered her phone and carried on a 3 minute conversation with someone - amidst several angry people, including myself, giving her looks and telling her to hang up. You are in for a bruising if you keep up that behavior…just saying.
Scenario 6 - Religious Ceremonies: Weddings, Funerals, Mass, anything along those lines, either turn the phone off, or put it on vibrate. Do not answer your phone at any time during the ceremony. I would even go so far as to say you shouldn’t text either. With one exception of course, if you have to tell your best friend she is at the wrong church and the wedding is actually HERE at 2pm…then texting briefly may be appropriate. 
Otherwise, put your life on hold and pay your respects.
Those are just a few that I can think of, I am sure there are many more. In what situations does cell phone usage bother you? Do you agree or disagree on what I say above?
Jonathan Thomas said:
Jan 14, 09 at 10:34 pmCell phones have pretty much destroyed any sense of etiquette and decorum in our society. It shows how much people don’t care about other people. And it’s sad. I hate them (cell phones). I wish they would go away.
Yet I love my iPhone.
Good list of rules. I would also add ’sitting around with your spouse.’ I HATE it when my wife and I are watching TV and her phone rings and she starts gabbing away when we were enjoying something. It could have waited dangit or she could leave the room.
Andrew Bell said:
Jan 14, 09 at 10:37 pmWalking into retail stores. If you’re walking into a store (more specifically one where a salesperson helps you i.e. a cellphone store etc.) Pet peeve of mine, if you are to important to get off the phone before you come in, wait outside, otherwise I stand there looking like an idiot while you’re on the phone.
Angie Zarinelli said:
Jan 15, 09 at 9:01 pmI am a teacher and I have had parents answer during meetings with them. These meetings are because their kid is screwing up so bad that he is about to get kicked out of alternative school. This has happened twice. Absolutely ridiculous. I don’t mind if people are on the phone while they are shopping at the grocery store or something with 2 stipulations - 1) not while you are checking out, 2) not walking around talking so loud about any topic especially inappropriate ones and acting like you are the coolest mofo on the planet - because you aren’t. And no one wants to hear your dumbass.
Don K said:
Jan 19, 09 at 5:40 pmI wholeheartedly agree that phone etiquette is sadly a practice never understood, and hardly respected. Unfortunately, the mobile has become an extension of people’s lives. There are times, however, when you need to turn it off, disconnect and pay attention (especially in the car or in a quiet establishment).
On the other side of the coin, my job requires that I spend 50% of my day in meetings. It is important for me that people be able to reach me when I am away from my office. At the same time, my mobile doubles as a file server, allowing me to locate or share an email or file in a discussion when I do not have my computer available. It has become an indispensable tool for me, unfortunately. And I am frequently at an advantage for having it handy.
When used properly, having your mobile on hand can be advantageous for productivity (or entertainment) but you have got to be respectable, people!
allyourfault said:
Jan 19, 09 at 6:50 pmThanks for the comments everyone.
Jonathan, I totally agree with you. When relaxing with people, the cell phone can definitely be disruptive.
Andrew, I can understand your point. At the same time though, you don’t always expect a greeter when you walk into a store.
Angie, I cannot believe parents actually do that. That is incredibly rude and ridiculous, I agree.
Don, you also make good points. It is understandable if your job demands that you be available, but as you say I think even in those situations people need to keep it respectable.
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Morgan Bean said:
Apr 15, 09 at 7:38 pmI find peoples inability to disconnect themselves from their phone infuriating. I have a particular friend who whenever I am out with cannot seem to ignore a text. I don’t mind a singular text here or there, or even a response to a direct question. But to carry on conversations with others by text to the extent that you neglect those you are physically out with (and supposed to be spending time with) is incredibly rude. It has gotten to the point where much of the time I find it is not worth my while to make the effort to hold a conversation with this person, and I talk a lot, quite easily in fact. It is all the more disappointing that I am sure those (offenders) do not realize how it is impacting their friendships. If they do, I guess it is all the more sad.
Chirag Kenia said:
May 11, 09 at 6:47 amGood post. Yes it is true that cell phone usage varies from situation to situation. I feel that there should be a certain set of norms set that people should follow and should be formally educated about.
Kumar said:
May 12, 09 at 3:48 pmGreat Post!! Was wondering if you guys also find it rude to receive calls from friends who are (supposedly) so busy that they only call while driving (and am at work)! Also they’ll not answer calls when they are at home and then call back later when they are driving !!
If so it will be nice to include this as another reason for not calling while driving in Scenario 3 above.
Jean W said:
Jan 21, 10 at 6:08 pmGreat post! A few days ago, my sister brought a friend of hers who was visiting from out of town to meet me at my home. The woman came in the door, and almost immediately, her cell phone rang, and she ran out the door, slamming my door on the way out. Then she came back in, darted her eyes back and forth around my house, acting very strange as if she were on caffeine, and her phone rang again! She talked on the phone in my house, and ran out the door again! It happened three times, and by that third time, I was so miffed, I wanted to kick this person out the door. I called my sister later and left her a message on her work phone asking her to NEVER bring anyone over again unless they leave their cell phone in the CAR before they come in. She also didn’t bother to call me ahead of time…she just came over. How rude! In the old days, when you went to someone’s home to meet them, you called ahead of time, then when you arrived, you slipped off your shoes at the front door, and then graciously said “how do you do” and shake the person’s hand. You then start conversing and look them in the eye. I would NEVER have my cell phone on when going to someone’s home to meet them. It is VERY RUDE and when people do that, it shows that they only care about themselves, and it makes the person who is visited feel like they really didn’t want to meet them. They are just rushing about, waiting for their next CELL CALL!
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Lucy said:
Feb 04, 10 at 9:04 amJust because technology makes it possible to talk/text anywhere, any time, doesn’t mean people SHOULD talk/text anywhere, any time. That filter we developed to prevent every thought bubble from flying out our mouths has disappeared. People can’t be alone with their own thoughts for a solid five minutes. They can’t sit still, can’t shut up, can’t stop moving their thumbs. They can’t walk down a city sidewalk, cross a street, have a break at a caffe on their own, or even sit on the toilet in a restaurant’s restroom without yammering on the goddamned cell phone/texting a friend. I’m sick of having inane, personal conversation forced onto my consciousness by people desperate not to be alone with themselves and desperate to appear important to strangers in public. It’s pathetic!